Every now and then we have a male client who surprises us with his “reasons” not to go out on a date with a lady even if there was mutual interest and chemistry during the first face-to-face date.
I have decided to make a list of the craziest reasons why some gentlemen decide not to get to know a lady better.
Crazy reason number 1: “I am not in love with her profile”
Some gentlemen use this one even before they actually meet a Ukrainian lady in person. They give different excuses like “I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach when I look at her photos” or “her breasts look ok at this picture and look smaller in the other”, or “I don’t like her lips with red lipstick” or even “she doesn’t look 5.7 at this photo”. So let me comment this one really quickly. First of all it is a losing strategy to try to fall in love with a photo. You can’t date a photo! Look through your own photos in your phone. Do you look the same at all photos? Do you look different at the photos taken during your vacation or taken at work? Regarding the breasts size as one of my female clients has joked: “Her breasts size depends on the lingerie and dress she wears which in turn depends on her mood”. Dear gentlemen, always keep in mind that a decent Ukrainian lady who is not a professional Playboy model will never post half naked photos in her profile if she is looking for a serious boyfriend/future husband. So it is ok that the shape of her breasts looks different in different clothes. Photos of the lady in her dating profile give you just a hint about her personality and even about her looks in real life: body type and height. Only a real face-to-face meeting can show you if there can be mutual attraction and future for this acquaintance.
We all come as a “whole package” that includes our looks, our mood, personality, level of education, family, previous dating experience, some issues (we all have them), our expectations and the level of them, our habits and our fears. You really can’t see all this at the photo and you can’t predict your reaction and attitude to all this without a personal meeting. She can have a perfect photo, but during the first date it will turn out that you don’t reach her expectations and to be honest it is hard for a human being to ever reach them or you can find her too quite which will equal being too dull in your eyes. Or it can be an opposite scenario: you meet in person for the first time and she is super charming, smart and easy to be around. You would never know if she is the one unless you meet in person.
Let’s return to the “interesting” excuses regarding the lady’s profile.
Sometimes excuses touch the information the lady has mentioned in her profile. For example, “oh, she hasn’t written in her profile that she is romantic so this means she will be a bad mother”. Really? Why this conclusion? And what do you think about this one: “She claims that she likes her job so this means she will never date someone from another country and will never leave Ukraine”.
Dear gentleman, if she likes her job it makes her a happy and smart person who chooses to do what she likes. This doesn’t mean that her job is a number one priority for her. I know many ladies who would be happy to work less or even not to work at all if they have serious relationship, family and kids. Every person has different stages in her/his life. Sometimes it is best for us to concentrate on our education or career and then when the time comes we get ready to invest our lives into relationship and family.
Crazy reason number 2: “She has “fat” face, her elbows look “old”,
it looks like her left eyebrow is slightly bigger than the right one”
Sometimes after the first date that lasted 4 or 5 hours the male client surprises us with an unusual excuse like “I would date her if she loses 3 kilos, grow her hair a few inches, etc.” This can be translated like “If I have managed to get attention of such a beautiful young Ukrainian girl then for sure I can raise the bar and date someone even hotter”.
Every year we have a male client who “forgets” that he got professional help of a team of real cupids to get his dates. Of course when you seat in front of a beautiful Ukrainian girl, who is genuinely interested in your passion in history of ancient Egypt or just like you loves learning new trends in marketing strategies for IT companies because she just happens to work in the same field as you, it is so easy to assume that you have a date with her because simply you are a great guy (which helps a lot by the way) and it has absolutely nothing to do with hours of work of a professional matchmaking team. The male client forgets that diolli.com team has interviewed 40 candidates to pick up one lady who has similar vision about relationship, gender roles, family, who shares his hobbies. So the clients “gets greedy” and instead of appreciating such a great girl who is really interested in him the male client starts wondering if “the grass is greener on the other side” and whether he can “do even better” and expand his expectations by raising the bar for several levels.
Crazy reason number 3: “Her English is not perfect and she speaks with the accent”
Dear gentlemen, if you consider international dating, then I am sure you realize that it means you will date a lady who speaks another language. If the entire idea of accents bugs you then you should consider dating someone in your country who speaks your mother tongue. If you want to date someone who speaks perfect English then perhaps you should consider dating a lady from the United Kingdom. Her English would be way better than English of the lady from Ukraine. I often say that your attitude to language barrier is only in your head. You can either encourage your date to feel more comfortable about her language skills by complimenting her English or you can kill any desire in her to speak English to you by saying: “and you have wasted 4 years to speak English like that”? Don’t forget that smile is international and when we kiss or make love we use the language of love, which by the way is international.
It may sound crazy but usually gentlemen who are not English native speakers themselves tend to critic the level of English of Ukrainian ladies most of all.
From Svetlana Mukha, with love
